


tugging at your sleeve

by DJ Jiggle Juice (babytobin_horse)



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:10:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4196814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babytobin_horse/pseuds/DJ%20Jiggle%20Juice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one should feel as much as Chloe does for Beca. It's dangerous, especially if you love as much as Chloe Beale does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tugging at your sleeve

**Author's Note:**

> Once again coming at you late at night, except tomorrow I have work to go to! I've been working on this for a couple of days now. This piece of work is very loosely inspired by Halsey's song Ghost (great song, by the way. Really recommend you listen to this and her other songs if you haven't already). I feel like this is a huge mess, but I hope it's readable and maybe a little enjoyable anyway.
> 
> IMPORTANT: The way the story is written, "**" will stand for a change in time. It starts out as present, but then once you see the **, it will go into the past, and once you see it again, we're back in the present. It's kind of confusing I guess but I hope you understand what I mean by that. :/

_I'm searching for something that I can't reach._

*

Sunlight’s just barely peeking over the horizon when she stirs. Chloe’s head is pounding, but that’s nothing new. She’s been through this cycle way too many times to be surprised by it. Her eyes stay closed for a few more moments, breathing still even. She wonders where she is this time, and who she’s found herself next to. She waits, knowing the moments from last night will start coming back soon enough.

A few minutes later she recalls the new bar fifteen minutes away from her apartment and lots of tequila shots. With that in mind, her eyes open slowly as the sun is still making its ascent into the sky. The room’s messy, causing Chloe to unintentionally wrinkle her nose at the sight. She’s covered in blue sheets and she’s pretty sure she has most of the sheets on her side. Slowly, she turns to find her latest victim still snoozing softly besides her. The redhead props herself up to look at the body lying next to her. It’s a female with a particularly nice build and dirty blonde, almost brown hair seemingly untouched by last nights events.

She tries to remember what this girl sounds like and how they started talking in the first place. There’s almost no point because Chloe knows she probably offered to buy her a drink and it just picked up from there. It almost always does - that’s the routine she’s grown accustomed to. She racks her brain for her name, but gives up five minutes later deciding instead to scour the room for her clothing so she can leave.

Once all her clothes are back on her body and she’s found her cell phone and purse, Chloe pulls her hair back into a messy bun. She looks back at the naked body on the bed, noticing the way the girl hasn’t even moved one bit. She knows the girl will be looking for the redhead when she wakes up, but she doesn’t care.

Chloe leaves without a second thought. She gets back home to her apartment and gets ready for work. Just like she always does.

**

Chloe Beale doesn’t do dating. She does flings, hookups, and just about anything else because it’s easier that way. It’s a lot easier to do those things because she loves too much and too hard, and if she were to date someone, she’d break into a million pieces once they leave. She doesn’t know if she could ever come back from that. Her mom didn’t, therefore Chloe isn’t exactly willing to try it out herself.

So when Beca Mitchell strolls into her life her senior year at Barden University (or more like Chloe forces her way into Beca’s life), Chloe’s thrown into a frenzy. Sure, she likes a lot of things in the world like puppies and her jiggle juice, but it turns out Beca’s possibly at the top of her list. Beca isn’t a people person, but Chloe keeps trying. Aubrey tells her Beca not worth the effort, but it is every time she sees Beca trying so hard to fight a smile or a laugh that Chloe’s caused. The younger girl acts like she doesn’t need the Bellas, that they need her way more than she needs them, but Chloe can tell she likes being part of the interesting mix of girls they’ve found themselves in.

Chloe tries not to think about how much she likes Beca.

**

It’s Friday night when she suddenly decides she should go to the club and lose herself in a few drinks. She’s thinking too much and thinking and feelings when it comes to Chloe Beale is never a good idea. It leads to loud, ugly sobs in her lonely apartment with no one to hold her and tell her it’ll all be okay. It’s when she’s watching Entertainment Tonight and sees a feature on Hollywood’s newest and rapidly trending music producer coming up next after the break that she quickly shuts off the TV and marches into her room, finding the best outfit she can put together in five minutes. Then she’s out the door, already wishing she had a drink in her hand.

The crowd’s just starting to pour in, but it’s not problem for Chloe. It never has been. A simple wink and one or two off-hand comments (thank you for her natural flirtatious attitude) are enough to slip her in. Music’s blasting and bodies are everywhere and somehow it’s enough to distract her. She likes living it up and having fun, but she knows it’s not the same without the Bellas. Those days were one of a kind. But she doesn’t like to think about those days at all anymore. Not when four out of seven of those years involved someone who changed everything.

She’s on her second round of drinks when a tall dirty blonde man catches her eye. He looks like he’s in his mid-twenties, with a smoldering jaw and a build that was pretty impressive, Chloe had to admit, being a very fit person herself. When their eyes lock and he starts to make his way over, Chloe knows she’ll be able to distract herself a little bit longer.

“Wanna dance?”

She takes his hand immediately after finishing off the rest of her drink in a gulp and dances the hell out of Jason Derulo’s latest hit.

**

Okay so maybe Chloe doesn’t purposely fail Russian Lit three times just for the Bellas. So what? No one needs to know. Especially not Aubrey. Definitely not Aubrey. Although she may be suspecting it already. Because Aubrey knows that Chloe likes Beca.

No. Chloe _loves_ Beca, and it’s a damn problem.

Beca can bring out the best in her, but she also brings out Chloe’s biggest fears. The older girl knows being in love with Beca Mitchell goes against everything she’s built around her heart. Either Beca doesn’t return her feelings (which she probably doesn’t, she’s been dating Jesse for what feels like eternity) or she does and eventually breaks Chloe. There’s no win-win situation, and she knows that. Yet she fall harder every day.

There are nights spent crying. Sometimes, it’s two in the morning and Chloe can’t sleep because Beca is out with Jesse doing who knows what so she quietly makes her way to Stacie’s room and sobs, the younger girl rubbing her back and murmuring things Chloe knows are meant to make her feel better. Other times, Chloe feels like she’s been way too much for Beca and the younger girl distances herself, making Chloe think she’s uncomfortable or weirded out, so she calls Aubrey, trying to control her tears. But most times, the redhead silently cries into her pillow because Beca doesn’t love her back and maybe can’t love her the way she loves Jesse.

Anyone with a functioning brain knows the best way to stop this is to get Chloe away from Beca.

Yet they’re as inseparable as best friends comes. More often than not, Beca’s head is resting on Chloe’s shoulder when they’re curled up on the couch watching some movie with the other girls. Chloe’s often found drawing out patterns on Anna’s arm while her head’s propped up in the younger Bella’s lap. She gives Beca back rubs and neck massages when she’s super stressed or just sore from hours of sitting at her desk with her laptop and headphones on. Beca lets her listen in on mixes she’s working on and even asks for Chloe’s opinion. They’re always having conversations with their eyes while they’re with others. No one knows what they’re saying, but Chloe likes it that way.

The little moments she manages to have with Beca, to her, are worth all those nights she spends crying. It’s even more worth it to know Residual Heat offers Beca a full time job so she’ll stay in Atlanta, just like Chloe will.

The best news comes after their return from Copenhagen.

“I broke up with Jesse.”

**

Aubrey comes to visit her for New Years. It’s been awhile, and Chloe’s glad she’s here because it means she won’t be so lonely anymore. At least for a few days. Even though most days out of the year, the blonde’s out in the wilderness running a great retreat, they still find time to catch up with each other. Chloe’s so grateful for that because Aubrey’s the first one she’ll call for anything and everything.

She’s the one who heard the mixture of sobs and frustration as Chloe tried to say the four letter word on the tip of her tongue.

“I’ve definitely missed your cooking,” Aubrey gushes over dinner one night.

Chloe laughs, taking a sip of her wine. “I always was the better cook, I guess.”

The older woman nods in agreement, taking another bite of her meal. They settle into a comfortable silence save for the sound of their utensils scraping against the plates. As their plates grow empty, conversation strikes up again. They talk about Aubrey’s retreat and the interesting people that have gone through her program. Chloe tells her about the dance studio she’s teaching at, and all the people that sign up for her classes, but can’t really keep up.

Their plates are suddenly empty, and all that’s left is wine and two friends. Once a silence fills the air again, Aubrey takes her opportunity to ask, “So, are you seeing anyone?”

Chloe almost spits her wine back into her glass, but catches herself. Avoiding the blonde’s questioning gaze, she sets her glass back onto the table. “Um.”

“Chloe.”

“Well,” the redhead chews her bottom lip. “Yeah, I’ve been...seeing a few people.”

Aubrey’s eyebrows shoot up. “People? As in, more than one?” She needs a sip of wine for this new information.

“I’m not dating multiple people,” she clarifies, twisting her lips. “I’m just...having a little fun.”

It takes a moment, but the understanding shows in Aubrey’s eyes and they widen. “Oh.”

Chloe knows Aubrey doesn’t approve. “Bree,” she says evenly, eyeing her friend. “It’s not bad at all. It’s relieving, almost. I don’t have to worry about being committed or feelings or any of that nonsense,” she shrugs.

The older of the two holds in a sigh. She knows even though Chloe may look bubbly, happy and carefree to anyone else she comes in contact with, she’s still hurting. Chloe’s never had to deal with a broken heart. She’d been so careful and precise on her relationships with other people, but Beca changed all of it. She had Chloe throw all her precautions out the window and just go for it. Now she was destroying herself in order to cope with the pain.

“Maybe you should just do you for awhile,” Aubrey suggests with a knowing look. “Who needs little flings and hook ups anyway?”

The redhead frowns. “I don’t see the problem with them. It’s working out well for me.”

“Is it, Chlo?” It’s out before Aubrey can stop herself.

Silence takes over as Aubrey’s unsaid words hang in the air. The two stare at each other, neither willing to back down. Chloe feels her chest tighten and her eyes prick with tears because deep down Aubrey’s right. She’s still hurting, and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. But Chloe’s a big girl. She can handle herself.

“I think that’s up to me,” she finally says to break the tension.

“It won’t fill the the spaces that are missing.”

“You obviously don’t know vodka and tequila well enough.”

Aubrey gives her a pointed look. “They’re only temporary friends.”

Chloe scoffs, standing from her seat. She begins to start cleaning the table, collecting their plates and putting them in the sink. She avoids Aubrey’s gaze the whole time.

“Chloe,” she sighs.

“Don’t,” Chloe says, the tightening in her chest returning. “Please.” She presses her palms on the counter, back to Aubrey. Closing her eyes, she tries to stop the tears from flowing. She can’t break down. She was doing just fine.

Aubrey stands from her seat and makes her way over to her. “It’s okay to feel it,” she whispers, rubbing her friend’s back gently.

Chloe turns, crying into the taller woman’s shoulder without control. Aubrey strokes her hair, keeping her close.

**

“You’re here way too often,” Chloe teases, handing Beca her own plate of food.

“It’s homey,” she answers with a laugh before digging in.

The redhead grins, sitting right next to her on the couch as they begin the night’s Netflix marathon. “I’m starting to think you’re only here for the free meals.”

Beca smirks, quirking an eyebrow in her direction. “You’ve caught me.”

It’s early fall and things are going well for the both of them. Chloe’s found a dance studio that was hiring and Beca’s doing big things with Residual Heat, including Emily’s song on its way to becoming a real single.

Chloe tries not to notice just how domestic they’ve become. She tries to ignore how many times she’s woken up with her arms around the tiny brunette, or the way they’re constantly bringing each other lunch. She prides the fact that Beca lets her listen to her mixes as she works on them in her downtime, or how she patiently watches Chloe as she shows a new routine and wants someone else’s approval. They’ll take turns paying for meals and drive each other places. It’s just the little things, but they’re more than enough.

But that’s what best friends do, right?

Who’s Chloe Beale kidding, she’s still totally in love with Beca Mitchell and their little life together.

**

Chloe’s on the way to work, and she’s running late. Her boss asked her to cover a class at a different studio because whoever’s supposed to be teaching is sick or something like that. She has no problem with that, in fact, she likes seeing fresh faces and being able to teach new people. The only issue is there’s an accident on the freeway she absolutely needs to take to get there, and she’s been inching along for a good ten minutes already.

She groans, deciding to send a text to her boss letting her know she may be a tiny bit late. The redhead stares at the non-moving traffic for a moment before deciding she should listen to the radio. Maybe they were having a really funny conversation or talking about something interesting in between songs.

“Welcome back to another commercial free hour!” the radio announcer boomed through her speakers, causing Chloe to jump a little. “Let’s start your morning off with last year’s billboard hit!”

Oh no. Not this. Fate hates her.

Her jaw clenches as she hears the first beats through her speakers. She knows it so well she could sing it in her sleep without even trying. The countless hours she’d spent singing and listening and dancing to it were all coming back to her.

_When tomorrow comes, I’ll be on my own_

“Shit,” Chloe hisses, punching the first button she can get to.

_Feeling frightened of the things that I do--_

Her radio goes silent.

The traffic really needs to get a move on if Chloe wants to make it to her class in one piece.

**

Maybe she’s a little bit drunk. Maybe she’s a lot drunk. Either way, she’s making out with Beca Mitchell and it feels _so good_.

Chloe has the younger girl pushed up against the wall, her hands going anywhere and everywhere they can. Beca’s wrapping a leg around Chloe’s waist as her fingers lock into fiery red hair.

“Mm Chlo,” Beca mumbles against her lips, tugging her even closer so they’re flush against each other.

The redhead grins, pulling away only for a moment before Beca’s pulling her back in. As their lips keep meeting, Chloe’s hands slide under Beca’s leather jacket and tank top under it, causing the younger girl to shiver.

“Bed.” Beca pants, pulling away to look at Chloe. Her navy eyes are even darker and the look in her eyes tells Chloe she won’t take no for an answer.

Chloe knows Beca could possibly regret this in the morning, but she doesn’t care. She lifts the small girl into her grasp, feeling her lips assault Chloe’s neck as they make their way to Beca’s tiny bedroom.

When Chloe wakes up, she tries to take it all in. She doesn’t know what Beca will do when she wakes up, but she might as well savor what she can, right? So she scoots up a little, watching how Beca’s chest rises and falls with each breath she takes. She admires the way Beca looks peaceful and content as she sleeps, not at all similar to the scowl she likes to wear when she’s around others. In this moment, Beca looks so tiny and fragile that Chloe almost can’t believe this is the girl who consumes every bit of her. She’s so small that for a second, she’s not the girl with the quick remarks or “too cool for you” attitude. She’s the girl that laughs at Chloe’s antics and cries at the end of really sappy movies. The thought makes Chloe smile.

Beca stirs, shifting slightly. Her eyes slowly open, and when she finds Chloe, the older girl’s looking at her hesitantly, wondering what her next move is going to be.

“Good morning,” Chloe says and nonchalantly as possible.

It takes a moment, but Beca responds “Definitely a good morning” before leaning up to press a chaste kiss on Chloe’s lips.

Chloe likes this reaction.

**

“Finally you answer my calls!”

Chloe shakes her head, a smile still present on her face as she beams at her phone screen. “You know some of us work, right Stace?”

“Yeah but _some_ of us are taking a break from their new job to visit,” Stacie shoots back, earning yet another wide grin from her friend.

“When did your flight arrive?”

“An hour ago, but that’s not important.” The former Bella shakes her head dismissively. “The important question is what are you doing tonight?”

Chloe thinks about it. “I was honestly going to just have a nice night in. You can join if you want.”

By the smirk that forms on Stacie’s face, she knows they’re most definitely not staying in tonight. “The Hunter is ready for his next prey.”

“Oh no,” she groans.

“We can find you some prey too,” Stacie offers with a wink.

Chloe scoffs. “First of all, it’s still weird you call it ‘The Hunter.’ Second, don’t call people prey that’s degrading.”

The other woman shrugs. “That’s just how I operate.”

“Right,” Chloe rolls her eyes because of course she knows. She’s known Stacie Conrad for years.

“Are you in or not, Red?” Stacie asks. “I promise it’ll be fun. And we can go for a hangover breakfast tomorrow. On me.”

The redhead mulls over the thought for a moment. She really doesn’t want to sit in her apartment and feel empty again. “I’m in.”

Stacie beams at her acceptance. “Pick me up at 8!” she squeals.

Her and Stacie aren’t the best of friends, but it’s the quiet actions that show Chloe she cares about her outside of Barden University.

So she never exactly told Stacie what happened. In fact, the only person Chloe ever told was Aubrey. Yet it was bound to get out. They were so close knit that there was no possible way for Chloe to hide it.

Their night’s all fun and they’ve had a few laughs on the dance floor and great talks about each other at the bar. Chloe misses Stacie, surprisingly. She misses how unapologetic Stacie is for everything she does and just how smart she actually is when everyone underestimates her.

They’ve fallen into a silence, bobbing heads to music and sipping drinks when it blurts out.

“How is she?”

Stacie blinks, realizing how quickly gears were changing. She shifts in her seat, suddenly not as comfortable as she was a moment ago. “Things are really taking off in LA.”

Chloe nods, but that’s not the answer she was looking for. They both know it.

The younger of the two swirls her drink, trying to find the right words to say. “You’re both my friends, and--”

“Stace,” the redhead says gently, placing a gentle hand on Stacie’s arm. “I know. I’m not asking you to pick sides.” She straightens her shoulder, suddenly snapping out of whatever she was going feeling. “Forget it. I didn’t ask anything.”

“Chloe,” Stacie sighs, knowing exactly what the girl was about to do.

Chloe only gives her signature wink and asks the bartender for two shots of vodka. She grins and winks right at her. The girl has navy eyes. The redhead gives her a smirk in response.

**

**  
**  


It’s almost as if Beca is a drug. Chloe can’t get enough of her. She’s always left wanting more. Some mornings, she’ll wake up as Beca places a soft kiss on her forehead, promising she’ll be home from work as soon as possible. It makes the redhead smile, seeing the navy eyes with gentle as they look at her. As soon as she’s gone, Chloe misses the warmth she provided and the lips on her skin.

Beca’s no good for her. They both know it, but neither is willing to acknowledge it out loud.

Throughout the day when they’re not together, Chloe’s constantly thinking about her. She’s been caught smiling by her students and even her co-workers at the dance studio on multiple occasions throughout the day. It’s not her fault she can’t believe that after years of pining and patience and tears Beca Mitchell is actually hers.

Well, at least she’s pretty sure Beca is hers. They’ve never actually discussed it, but on top of the sex and kisses, they act like a married couple. But Chloe never brings it up because she’s so afraid that if she tries to even talk about it, Beca will run. She knows the young music producer better than most, and talking about feelings is not something she enjoys.

Chloe takes as much of Beca in as she can.

Things start shifting between them. Beca’s staying later at the studio; Chloe likes to think it’s because she’s working on some really big project. It’s different when they’re together as well. In some moments, Chloe catches this look in Beca’s eye and it makes her stomach drop. Yet just as quickly as it comes, it disappears and is replaced by a Beca-like comment that makes Chloe grin and peck her lips. It’s enough to hold her together for now.

“Babe, what are you doing this weekend?” Chloe asks, taking a gulp of water.

She’s dripping sweat all over the kitchen counter, coming back from arguably one of the best runs of her life in. When she doesn’t get a response, she skips into the living room, seeing Beca on the couch lost in her mixing with her big headphones on. Grinning, she slips them off.

“Hey.”

“JESUS CHLO!” Beca screams, jumping and almost dropping her laptop, but clumsily catching it before it hits the ground. “You scared the shit out of me.”

Chloe lets out a soft giggle, pressing a kiss to Beca’s temple. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were mixing.”

The brunette turns seeing a spandex covered, sweaty Chloe and involuntarily licking her lips. “Hello there, Beale.”

“Eyes up here pervert,” she snorts in response, hopping over the back to sit next to the woman. “I asked what you were doing this weekend,” she explains with a bright smile. “I was thinking if you weren’t too busy we could make the drive out to Barden and visit Emily, and maybe revisit where it all began.”

Beca sees the hope in the older woman’s eyes. She can’t help but buy into that bubbliness, the blue eyes and all. She’s about to respond when her phone buzzes, and she checks the message waiting for her.

“Actually,” Beca’s eyes look up to meet Chloe’s. “I can’t. Something just came up.” When Chloe’s face falls, she’s quickly trying to make it all better. “You should still go! Maybe Stacie can fly in for the weekend?”

It takes a moment, but a soft smile appears on Chloe’s lips again. “Yeah, I guess I’ll have to see.” She kisses Beca’s forehead, excusing herself to shower. “Don’t work so hard. It might end up giving you stress marks,” she teases before walking away.

Beca watches her until she disappears down the hall. “Oh Chloe,” she sighs, closing eyes.

**

“You have the most amazing eyes.”

Chloe forces a sweet smile and replies with something sounding like a thank you. She’s only here because of Aubrey’s constant pleading and reasoning. Set up dates aren’t really Chloe’s thing, but she can only hear Aubrey tell her to “get out there” so many times before giving in. So with the help of Stacie or Jessica or some other Bella, Aubrey was able to set up a date for the redhead to attend.

And it’s not like he’s unbearable. So far, he’s been a complete gentleman; Chloe relates this to his southern roots. He’s quite attractive, too. With his chiseled jaw, killer smile, scruffed up dark hair hair and hazel eyes, this guy probably has girls all over him. Aubrey and the girls sure knew how to pick them. This guy - whatever his name is, Chloe can’t quite remember - seems really great, and Chloe would love to be friends or maybe hook up with him, but a relationship is out of the question. She knows Aubrey means well, but as she sits here and listens to him explain his job, she has a nagging feeling she needs to leave.

Relationships are dangerous. They’re not worth the pain. It’s better to feel nothing.

But Chloe laughs and smiles at all the right moments, shares her own tidbits about herself and tries to get through the night without bolting.

**

Cold.

It’s the first thing she feels when she wakes up. That’s the first sign something’s wrong. Chloe slowly opens her eyes, realizing there’s no body pressing into her, or at least on the other side of the bed. She slowly sits it up, rubbing her eyes in order to see properly past her morning haze. There’s no tiny brunette in her bed. Huh, Beca never leaves for work early.

“Beca?” she calls out, hoping for some sort of response.

She feels around the other side of the bed. There hasn’t been a body on that side for a while. It’s only then that the redhead looks around, realizing the mess that’s usually scattered across the room because of Beca’s laziness is nowhere to be found. The leather jacket isn’t hanging on the door knob of her closet. Sweaters aren’t laying around. Headphones aren’t sitting on her night stand.

Chloe’s stomach twists as she slowly swings herself out of bed, crossing her arms against her chest to keep herself warm. She walks to the bathroom slowly, noticing the door’s wide open and the light’s shut. Once she steps in, she realizes half the counter is empty. Her heart begins to pound harder. The dancer walks around the apartment, trying to find pieces of Beca, but not succeeding. The whole place looks half lived in now, and it’s tearing Chloe apart every step she takes.

With shaking fingers, she tries calling Beca.

“ _Hey, this is Beca. You know what to--_ ”

“Dammit Beca!” Chloe hisses, hanging up and dialing again

After being sent to voicemail for the tenth time, she finally tries to call the studio, hoping to hear the younger woman’s voice.

“ _Good morning, Residual Heat. This is Jackie speaking, how may I help you today?_ ”

“Hi,” Chloe breathes a slight sigh of relief because finally she’s heard a real voice on the other end. “Um, is Beca Mitchell there?”

“ _Beca Mitchell?_ ” the receptionist asks, sounding confused.

The redhead nods vigorously, forgetting she can’t be seen. “Yeah, she’s a new music producer there. She was an intern for about a year, just got hired late last summer,” she explains, biting her bottom lip.

“ _Hold for one moment please, I’ll look for her._ ”

“Thank you,” Chloe breathes out, running a hand through her messy hair. As she waits, she checks five times to make sure Beca hasn’t tried calling or texting her. There’s nothing waiting for her in her inbox or voicemail each time.

“ _Ma’am?_ ”

“Yes I’m still here,” she says desperately. Her stomach’s beginning to drop and she knows none of this means anything good.

“ _Beca Mitchell transferred over to our branch out in Los Angeles this week. She’s no longer on our system as an employee._ ”

“What?” Chloe all but screeches. “Since when? How did this even happen?”

“ _I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t give you those details. But I can tell you her last day of work was on Monday._ ”

It's Thursday. Beca hasn't been to work for the past two days, and Chloe didn’t even have the slightest clue. She didn’t even know Beca was offered a job transfer to LA.

_Oh my god._

“ _Ma’am? Are you still there?_ ”

With whatever voice she can muster, Chloe thanks the receptionist for all her help and hands up, eyes staring at nothing. She feels her whole body tighten and the way the tears build in her eyes, but she doesn’t try to stop any of it. Instead she lets out a strangled sob, collapsing onto the couch.

She’s not sure how long she stays there, but it’s long enough to create a small soaked puddle of tears and possibly lose her voice.

**

The clock on the stand reads 3:15 AM and Chloe’s still wide awake. The body laying next to her has long since fallen asleep. Her whispered sweet nothings are lost to Chloe now, knowing they were both drunk and full of lust. She’s laying flat on her back now, staring at the dark ceiling above her, wondering when this will all end. It’s tiring doing the same routine in and out, but nothing’s going to make it better. Everyday she forces any thought of Beca Mitchell down to the back of her mind because if she doesn’t, Chloe can’t make it through the day without a few breakdowns.

Chloe’s been looking for Beca since the day she left. She looks for her in strangers on the street - someone with big head phones or a knowing smirk. She looks for her in her dance classes when someone is clumsy and awkward and unsure of how to move. Yet Chloe can’t find her the most in the way she feels. She’s numb now, Chloe knows she is, but she longs for that feeling of something again. She longs to feel that electric shock running through her body every time she encountered the brunette.

It's no longer a shock to her that she needs Beca. She needs her like she needs oxygen. It's as if she can't breathe properly without the music producer, and ever since she left Chloe's been struggling to properly exhale because - to put it simply - she doesn't know how without Beca around.

As she looks at the body laying next to her, she realizes she won’t find Beca in anyone she’s with.

 


End file.
